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Last Dance

from Last Dance by Balkanist Discourse

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Big go fuck yourself!

lyrics

Fear my life has lost all it’s meaning
Toxic habits drown out the screaming
A world that never dives past the surface
Wandering aimlessly with no purpose
Anxious insecure old sensation of
Loneliness and self-preservation
Affection-starved the cracks start to show
Am I just a fraud?

Don’t want to dissociate
Nor trauma bond
Swear I’m not stuck on her
But we were so fond
Want to get out of this
Just missing her soul
Maybe not positive
But I’m stitching the holes

Fear won’t you run from so I can know that everything’s alright
I’ve got a certain anxiety that keeps me up all night (was it really love or just a ..)
Crushing fear of abandonment trying to break through?
Draw my blood for two - use it if you can
Unrequited love

Time flies by but pain heals so slowly
Wounds re-open left stuck and lowly
Think I’m healing feel like I’ve beat it
Then come tears and feelings defeated
Stared into the sun for too long
Enamored by false hope strung along
I could not hide the truth from myself
I didn’t allow myself to feel

A love that I stored away for fear of pain
Not just for me but her - no friendship should wane
Cause of subconsciousness and crippling doubts
Cut this umbilical cord and let me all out

Fear won’t you run from me so I can know that everything’s okay
I’ve got a worsening depression that makes me day by day (wondering if the scars will disappear)
But the city’s inseparable from memories, smiles and tears
Trade stability for happiness I swear
Unrequited love

Standing in my room
Waiting for her text or call to send me up from gloom
My soul is hurting deep inside from this anxiety
Suddenly I’m transported to a past love’s memory
I’m stitching up those seams

Fear you can fuck right off - I’m moving on from your old tired embrace
I’ve got the strength now to change myself and take off that old face (I think that all that pity’s run its course)
Moving on cause I know I wanna live for myself
I wish you’d see me know - (but) have I really changed?
Unrequited love

No more tired embrace
I hope you’re doing well
This is my last dance

I feel when they lie
Can’t fight desire
Don’t judge that fire
Take yourself hire - go on
I want to see it all
I don’t care to judge you break that wall
I’ll see you in those forms
I just want to be yours

credits

from Last Dance, released March 2, 2023

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Balkanist Discourse Chicago, Illinois

Yo! I'm Hera Jackson - Trans (she/her), queer, making fried and unique music influenced by a variety of styles.

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