Get all 8 Balkanist Discourse releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Floating Along, Alienation, Last Dance, Garfelt EP, Ruminate/Hello It's Me (single/"b-side"), Discount Astrology EP, Organic Cigarettes, and Melancholy Love.
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I guess you caught me at a bad time girl, I was uh, at the peak of alone.
I still remember every minute every hour feeling, our attachment was growin’
I feel shame about the toxic events of the past and how I took the abuse.
You found me broken and trying to rebuild from neglect and in a state of misuse.
Sometimes wonder if it’s immutable that we are damaged goods,
And for a moment had me knowing again I could change and thinking maybe I would.
Ya fucked me up every time babe
You fucked me up with your mind
Ya tear right into my soul babe,
Stitch me up til I’m fine,
Saw the hurt in my eyes babe,
Got to me from the very first night,
It’s fine that we’re not together,
I’m just glad to have known ya for the time.
Ya fucked me up with your eyes babe,
Your words your mind you’re so whole,
You made me feel like a child babe,
Cause time with you feels to full
Glad to be in your life babe,
Here for you through the love and through the strife,
To throw it all for a mistake,
Would feel like wasting our lives.
It often feels like we cannot control how it goes when we’re falling in love,
I found you in a place of despair from the pain of an ill-fated love.
We can’t rush how we heal from the pain of the past, it takes some time to move on.
I fell hard for (an) emotionally unavailable girl like she had said all along.
You fucked me up with your eyes babe,
Struck me deep in my soul
Floating out on a tidal wave,
Damn near losing control.
Once your fault now it’s mine babe,
Not my place to ignore,
Intentions stand for nothing,
When reality hurts our core.
Trying to be honest with myself
And keep the weight of any trauma off of others now,
Not perfect but I’m doing fairly well,
Sometimes being honest tends to smother.
Fell hard with emotional vulnerability lost I’m getting stuck in my head.
How could I have ever known it was a weight for you then if nothing ever was said?
Though I love you so much babe,
I swear you ain’t always right.
And though I sometimes fuck up babe,
Don’t forget that I’m motherfucking fine.
Damaged goods from our pasts babe,
To fall in love feels like I’m losing my mind.
And though I know that separate’s better in the end,
Life is better when we’re in each other’s lives.
So fuck it all for the time babe,
Won’t break my heart just to write another song.
Still here for you when you call babe,
To grow and change when I’m wrong.
Forgive my defiant tone babe,
I’m here defending myself.
I know that sometimes I’m wrong babe,
All I ask is take a look at yourself.
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2. |
Hello It's Me
03:50
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Hello it's me
I've thought about us for a long long time
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
There's something here doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine
Seeing you or seeing anything as much I do you
I take for granted that you're always there
I take for granted that you just don't care
Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through
It's important to me
That you know you are free
'Cause I never want to make you change for me
Think of me you know that I'd be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you once in a while
Or if I ever need a reason to smile and spend the night if you think I should
It's important to me
That you know you are free
'Cause I never want to make you change for me
Think of me you... you know that I'd be with you if I could
Girl come around to see me once in a while
Or if you ever need a reason to smile and spend the night if you think I should
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Balkanist Discourse Chicago, Illinois
Yo! I'm Hera Jackson - Trans (she/her), queer, making fried and unique music influenced by a variety of styles.
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